As I sat in the psychiatric hospital signing my papers ready to be admitted, I thought to myself how did it get to this point? How did I allow myself to get to this point? What happened? I don't even remember. Everything was a blur.

I remember laying in our apartment bedroom. My intuition had already warned me that something bad was going to happen and to prepare myself. And sure enough, I was right. He came home from a night of drinking (drunk), walked into the bedroom, grabbed the comforter and a pillow and went to the couch.

I was mentally and physically exhausted, thinking to myself, how can someone love me, but he can't even talk about our issues like a man? I was fed up, and I was giving up. I grabbed a pill bottle and went into the living room and told him I'm going to commit suicide, because I can't take this verbal, and mental abuse anymore.

He told me to do it.

We began to scream and fight. I lost it. I remember picking up our flat screen tv and throwing it across the apartment.

I blacked out.

I took a handful of pills from the bottle and attempted to take them. He smacked them out of my hand and called the cops. I laid on our apartment floor crying hysterically. The cops took me to the hospital where they probed me with questions. I remember the nurse asked me "how do you feel about life?" I told her, "I am tired and I want to die."

That was the answer that put me away for 7 days.

To this day, I am still sexually involved with this man off and on, convincing myself that he is the one. I know one day I will find the strength to leave him alone, but it will just take time.

You should never compromise yourself for a man or anyone. You have to love yourself first and always trust your intuition!

- Submitted by Ashley

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