As I sat in the psychiatric hospital signing my papers ready to be admitted, I thought to myself how did it get to this point? How did I allow myself to get to this point? What happened? I don't even remember. Everything was a blur.
I remember laying in our apartment bedroom. My intuition had already warned me that something bad was going to happen and to prepare myself. And sure enough, I was right. He came home from a night of drinking (drunk), walked into the bedroom, grabbed the comforter and a pillow and went to the couch.
I was mentally and physically exhausted, thinking to myself, how can someone love me, but he can't even talk about our issues like a man? I was fed up, and I was giving up. I grabbed a pill bottle and went into the living room and told him I'm going to commit suicide, because I can't take this verbal, and mental abuse anymore.
He told me to do it.
We began to scream and fight. I lost it. I remember picking up our flat screen tv and throwing it across the apartment.
I blacked out.
I took a handful of pills from the bottle and attempted to take them. He smacked them out of my hand and called the cops. I laid on our apartment floor crying hysterically. The cops took me to the hospital where they probed me with questions. I remember the nurse asked me "how do you feel about life?" I told her, "I am tired and I want to die."
That was the answer that put me away for 7 days.
To this day, I am still sexually involved with this man off and on, convincing myself that he is the one. I know one day I will find the strength to leave him alone, but it will just take time.
You should never compromise yourself for a man or anyone. You have to love yourself first and always trust your intuition!
- Submitted by Ashley
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I don’t forgive him. Not yet.
Bodies moving in sync
You can't come in here...
There was no glory in side-chicking or deception, only pain and illusion.
I love him for making me feel loved.
6 years, 2 kids, countless jail/prison stays, and the abuse...
In the loneliest hour my thoughts seem to always go back to you.
It's time for "the talk."
My late night ritual consists of 4 cookies, a cold glass of almond milk, and going through my fiance’s phone...
I laid there staring at the ceiling...
Blue-green plush carpet sliding through my hands. Chirps coming from crickets we hid in grandma's closet...
I had this glorious idea of how I could tell my story, but then I received a phone call from a distant ex tonight...