I am 25, single and I am a virgin. 
Waiting until marriage for sex.
Yeah, I'm THAT girl.
Except, I never wanted to be.

At least , not like this. If I had it my way, I would be married with a little girl and another one on the way. And that's sounds crazy, right ? Crazier than waiting practically 21 years to kiss a guy, and 24 to have your first date? 
Right. I am THAT girl.
Except, I never wanted to be. 

At least, not in this way. I've pretty much had the same dream for the last 25 years, to create.
To create inspiration with my voice , create life with my womb and create happily ever after with my husband.
For me, being a mother and a wife is more important than any tangible thing I could ever craft. I am whole , I am happy , but there is something missing. How is it that I can feel these soul ties so strongly, yet, they haven't even been formed? It's like phantom kicks in my womb, bittersweet. Words of love for a man , whom , I've yet to meet.
I was created to create, to speak, life. 
I am THAT girl.
Except, somedays, I don't think I deserve to be.
Or hell, that I'll ever be.
And that scares the hell out of me.
Because
All I ever wanted to be is
THAT girl.

Submitted by Nataja Zanelle

Creative soul & hopeless romantic , Nataja Zanelle, spreads life , love and inspiration through poetry, storytelling and visual art. Stay connected with Nataja through her official website, www.natajazanelle.com.

(Editor's Note: Also check out her podcast Tha Haven with Kera. www.thahaven.com. It's 20-something black girl magic at its peak.)

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