I moved away from home (New Hampshire) in 2007, after finishing college with a hopeful heart and mind. My college sweetheart was going to stay in NH, but I was moving to SC for a dream job opportunity, and he seemed committed enough to try out a long distance relationship, but not quite committed enough for marriage. After living in SC for a year, my college sweetheart said he was ready to get married and wanted me to move back to NH so that we could live together. I started looking for a job, and he asked my father for my hand and proposed. I was so excited, and couldn't believe this was happening! It felt completely surreal (at the time).
I got a job, and moved back, and things were tumultuous at best. I hated living with him. We argued all the time! At one point, even getting to the point where I was throwing dishes at his head, and he was punching doors. I yearned for my little peaceful life, and the job I loved, back in SC. In New Hampshire I was miserable and crazy, but engaged to "the love of my life." I decided it was best to stick it out. We were already planning our wedding, and it was going to cost us money to back out. I thought to myself that maybe it was just the cost of the wedding that was making things a little crazy between us, but truly, I knew better. Fast forward a few months, 6 months away from our wedding date, and we have a huge disagreement in the middle of a restaurant. He tells me he wants to be single, breaks off the engagement, and leaves me in the restaurant by myself. I don't hear from him for days. He moves out (thank God), without much fuss, and 2 weeks later he was "Facebook official" with some other chick. I was completely devastated, but really...the signs were always there.
I learned three things from this breakup...
#1. Don't believe words watch actions...I have seen countless actions that showed he wasn't ready to get married, I almost think he purposely picked fights to back out of the commitment he made.
#2. A man who ultimately wants YOU in his life will move MOUNTAINS to get to you...I shouldn't have been the one moving back to NH and chasing him if he wouldn't move to SC for me.
#3. A man who loves you will be consistent in how they treat you.
How do I know this? Because 3 years later I met the love of my life, and we have been married for 2 years.
He was ready for marriage, and acted like it. He treated me like a Queen consistently. He made sacrifices on my behalf. He showed me his cards first, and he had a hand full of Kings.
The right person is definitely worth the wait. The wrong person will never be worth your time or your