There were times I wanted to scream at you

Scream at God 

Scream at myself

Scream out loud

But I couldn't 

I couldn't dare be disrespectful 

To raise my voice 

To raise my voice at people I love 

But I drowned in frustration

I drowned in my tears 

Reaching my hands 

Up...

Reaching out to you 

But you just stared

You stared while I drowned 

I felt the water in my lungs 

I felt my life slipping away 

I'm scared

God.

Why?

Why? 

Why won't you?...

Why won't he help me? 

Why won't he take my hand? 

I am reaching.

Him.

Why are you killing me? 

Why did he just stare? 

I'm scared. 

Revelation. 

It hit me all at once 

The rage 

The devastation

The epiphany 

The gnawing of the truth that I tried to bury

A drowning man can't save a drowning woman

Not While he's trying to save himself 

- Makini

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